The Roller Derby Bake Sale Blog

roller derby bake sale

Long awaited! It’s the roller derby bake sale blog! I’m going to guide you through every step to making my grandmother’s mouth-watering sugar cookies. In the interest of brutal honesty 1) These are the highlight of every party 2) They are a huge pain in the ass to make. For you, fellow baking rollergirls, I’m doing my best to simplify the steps and guide your ass to making some sweet roller-derby-bake-sale-worthy masterpieces.

So, what can you charge for these delectably delicious morsels of edible art? Not enough. There is a bakery down the street from me that charges $4 for two. That’s a pretty good guideline, but considering the charitable nature of your awesome derby league, you might be able to squeeze $3 each. I actually find that people pay more for stuff when there are no set prices – but that can also bite you in the ass occasionally.

Also – Word to the wise, derby sister. These might be the most delicious sugar cookies you’ve ever eaten. Once you’ve read through and digested this post, send us some pics of the bake sale goodies you’ve made! We might just send a free sticker pack to our favorite! info@dressderby.com

Roller derby skate cookie cutter

The BEST sugar cookies

Ingredients:

  • 3/4 c. Crisco
  • 3/4 c. Butter (softened, not melted)
  • 2 c. Sugar
  • 4 eggs
  • 1 tsp. Vanilla Extract
  • 5 c. Flour
  • 2 tsp. Baking Powder
  • 2 tsp. Salt

Other stuff you might need:

  • Mixer
  • Rolling Pin
  • Wax Paper
  • Awesome cookie cutters (do it!)
  • Sugar sprinkles in various colors
  • Gel Food Coloring (Wilton’s)
  • Powdered sugar and evaporated milk
    (if you like icing)

mixing the cookies

Directions:

I like to break down the process over 2-3 days, but you can do it all in one day if you are super ambitious. The recipe yields about 4-5 dozen cookies, but that really depends on how big your cutter is… and how much dough you eat.

  1. Cream Crisco, butter, sugar and eggs & vanilla.
  2. Mix in baking powder, salt & flour (you can pre-mix if that’s your thing, I’m lazy and just do the baking powder & salt first so they get evenly distributed. Sorry bakers, you probably want to stab me.)
  3. Separate dough into 4 bits and place in 4 pieces of wax paper. (This enables you to work in 4 batches, so the dough doesn’t get soft as you work)
  4. Chill for 1 hour in (I chill over night)
  5. Grab one of your wax paper dough balls. Open up a wax paper, lightly flour top & bottom of dough ball, close wax paper & roll out dough ball to approx 1/4″ thick with a rolling pin.
  6. Cut out using all your awesome cutters! (Skates! Unicorns! Mustaches! Skulls!) Dipping cookie cutter into flour before each cut (so the sides won’t stick!)
  7. Place on a baking sheet covered with foil (I use a floured spatula to get the cookies from counter to tray).
  8. Bake at 400 degrees for 6-8 minutes. Watch them carefully! You want a very light golden color. Too dark and they are crispy (unless that’s your cup of tea).

Decorating

My NEW favorite is to sprinkle the cookies with colored sugars before baking. It really highlights the shape of the cutters, and makes bold, bright colors. Plus, let’s be honest, they kind of look like they are coated in glitter – and that can’t be a bad thing. Bonus: it’s way easier than icing. Try using a small funnel or rolled paper to direct the sprinkles where you want them.

If you want to ice your cookies (best tasting method) you can mix powdered sugar with a very small amount of evaporated milk. Sifting is recommended if you aren’t using sprinkles on your icing… because the powdered sugar can be lumpy. The icing mixture should be able to coat the back of a spoon. Then you can color your icing – I prefer Wilton gel colors.

You are going to want to put eyeballs on your unicorns, and laces and wheels on your skates. Let me tell you something, that stuff is a pain in the ass – and it never looks as good as you think it will (Pintrest fail coming on). For fail-proof decorating, stick to swirls, stripes and solid colors and you’ll be in edible derby town in no time! (Or you know… whenever you’re finished.)

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